The Rantings of Renni

You would have been a week old.

It's 2:50 am and Neme is asleep.

I wish I would be hit by a bus

I think it would hurt less.

I am sitting here in the dark

Crying for the 32nd Monday in a row.

Wishing I was normal again.

Wishing life was fair.

I am not ok.

I am Not ok.

I am NOT ok.

I WANT MY BABY .

It has been 32 weeks

21 weeks more than you were allowed to live.

I am finding it hard not to be bitter.

I was at work this morning and I thought of you.

I had to hide in the ladies room until I stopped crying and go back to pretending that I was alive.

This is not living.

I miss you so much