Monday, June 15, 2009

Almost A Year.

A year ago at this time I was in a bad relationship with a cheating liar. I had lost my job and had no money or anything to even try to support myself and I was scared. He yelled alot. He would only" allow" me 5 dollars in gas a day (gas was like 4 dollars a gallon then)which was barely enough to get me to my mom's which was one of the only places I was allowed to go. He broke doors, threw things and once held me down and poked me with a loaded gun. If I was upset he would throw water in my face to "calm me down" If I had not lost my job I would have never known he was cheating. She put up pictures of them together on myspace and I was devastated. Mom called me at 12:00 am and told me to get out of the house. When I got to her house she showed me the pictures and I literally threw up. At the time I had been trying to make purses to sell to make money and he had laughed and told me I was just wasting money.
I was so scared of being alone and I still loved him but you can only take so much. I had been staying very sleepy. I was to the point where at 5 pm I couldn't hold my eyes open. My neighbor felt sorry for me because I looked so rough and was having a hard time dealing with the cheating and the lies so she took me to eat Chinese.
While we were out, we saw him parked at his Ex's house and did our own surveillance. After realizing it was midnight and he was in there with the lights out, we went back to my house and started packing his things. In his things we found a bottle of cough syrup which was grape flavored. For two weeks I had been tasting something grapey and when I opened the cough syrup it was the same thing. I then open a bottle of pop to get a drink when I realized that it smelled grapey! The man had been drugging me to make me sleepy. In the weeks before I had been having killer headaches and he would make me take "Tylenol" because he was concerned. They looked weird but he would get angry if I didn't take them. After describing them to my cop friend he informed me that he had been giving me a common nerve medication which also makes you sleepy.
I packed all of his things and left him a note to get out of my house and go back where he'd just left from. I spent the night at Bambi's. He was a large man and she didn't want me to be alone with him when he came in. He came in about 4 a.m. and angrily loaded his things and left. I didn't know how I was going to make it. The lights were in his name and rent was due. That was the 4th of July. It truly was Independence Day.
The 5th I got my rebate check. It was just enough to pay my rent and have my lights switched. Within 2 weeks I had a job at the place where I currently work. I had applied online and to this day I am the only person i know of that they have hired from an online application. If he had still been there he would have spent my money. It all worked out for the best.
I lived on my own up until 2 months ago. I don't know how I made it but God looked after me. I have sold at least 10 duct tape purses and I don't know how many roses and wallets from my "waste of money" Yes it was hard. Yes I was devastated. You can't stay in an abusive relationship because he tells you that you won't make it. You have to have faith and a great support system. If I didn't have my family and friend's I would have went crazy.
Wolf and I have been friends for years. He had always like me but was afraid to ask me out. On the 18th of July it will be the anniversary of our first date. He loves me. He is good to me and has never and will never treat me like the other guy did.


  1. Happy to hear you are in a much better (and safer) place and are pursuing your dreams!! Best wishes!

    Stopping by from SITS to say "hi" and welcome! I know that you will enjoy being a part of this vibrant community of bloggers!
    carma :-)

  2. Wow, that is crazy! Glad you are okay and doing better...keep up your positive spirits!

  3. Here from SITS, I am really proud of you for getting out of this abusive relationship. I wish you the best.